Monday, November 14, 2016

I Sing The Body Electric

In my nightmares - every night, by the way - there's a banging on my front door and the "authorities" have come to take me away.
These nightmares started the day after the election. I have no control over my nightmares. I'm not sleeping well.
My first response was profound fear and the intense desire to flee.
When I lived in my beloved NYC and this feeling became too overwhelming after 9/11, I moved. Here.
Here. Where a retired teacher who lives around the corner said, "I voted for Trump. Anyone but Hillary."
A fucking TEACHER said that.
I still have the nightmares. But every night, something changes.
I yell. I don't scream. I YELL.
I curse aggressively. I fight. Every nightmare, there is the smallest change and I accomplish something. Sometimes, the people arresting me react with shock and freeze. I escape.
And when I wake up, I'm angry.
I have my coffee. I eat a bagel (well, as close as I can get) with a schmear. Sometimes I find lox at the local Pick N Save and that helps.
I calm down.
And then I RISE THE FUCK UP.

2 comments:

  1. Hey Annie...Jude from Little G. Island...In MI it is scary to be surrounded by the "others" Have finally stopped waking up with tears in my eyes and Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah playing in my head. Have many friends who still "can't f'ing believe it!" but more neighbors who did the crazy bigot dance. So we are...Strong women? hell yes! Nasty women? Hell yes! Good to see you here...

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    1. Hi, Jude - you have no idea how much I needed to see this right now. I'm glad to see you here too.

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