Monday, November 14, 2016

I Sing The Body Electric

In my nightmares - every night, by the way - there's a banging on my front door and the "authorities" have come to take me away.
These nightmares started the day after the election. I have no control over my nightmares. I'm not sleeping well.
My first response was profound fear and the intense desire to flee.
When I lived in my beloved NYC and this feeling became too overwhelming after 9/11, I moved. Here.
Here. Where a retired teacher who lives around the corner said, "I voted for Trump. Anyone but Hillary."
A fucking TEACHER said that.
I still have the nightmares. But every night, something changes.
I yell. I don't scream. I YELL.
I curse aggressively. I fight. Every nightmare, there is the smallest change and I accomplish something. Sometimes, the people arresting me react with shock and freeze. I escape.
And when I wake up, I'm angry.
I have my coffee. I eat a bagel (well, as close as I can get) with a schmear. Sometimes I find lox at the local Pick N Save and that helps.
I calm down.

Wisconsin Woman - Fuck yeah.

I love Gustav Klimt. His works are represented everywhere in my home.
I especially love the portrait of Adele Bloch Bauer. I got to see the original at the Neue Gallery in NYC. I stood there for a full half hour, just gazing, examining, marveling at how bright it was. All the prints show the gold leafing in a deep color but in person, it's so light.
I watched the movie, "Woman In Gold", recently. It's about the fight by Adele's niece to get back what the Nazis stole during the Third Reich.
I really have nothing of value - truly. I think my shit is valuable but only to me. I'm very sentimental.
The thought that my home could be invaded and confiscated as a result of Newt Gingrich and his intention of re-creating the "Un-American Activities" panel (which if anyone still remembers history was created by a Wisconsin representative, Joe McCarthy), is absolutely, terrifyingly repugnant to me.
I am horrified by what the people who live right next door to me have done by voting for a miscreant.
But I live in Wisconsin. Short of moving outside the country and leaving the people who need me to fend for themselves, I've decided to embrace that.
Gun classes. Handgun permit. Concealed carry. Open carry.
THOSE are my rights and I am mother-fucking going to avail myself of them.
To the person who said, "We can't become them", I'm not.
I'm availing myself of the rights I still have.
I will become the most bad-ass version of myself.